Thursday, May 22, 2008

Life is a mystery

Mr. P and I are still together and I have never been so happy. Last week I realized that because of him, I finally realize that 'I' matter. My dad says that is something he has been trying to get my mom to realize for almost 36 years. I hope she realizes it soon, cause it is an awesome thing to know.

To be honest, I have always been a loaner. In order to spend time around people I had to have a lot of time alone. I was worried that it was going to be really hard to live together in such a small area. We have now been here almost 4 months and I am still excited to get home from work. I actually feel like I don't get enough time with him!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Settling

The wise and pretty Mir said that its better to seek than to settle. She was talking about finding the right church home but I find that this applies to where I am at in my life too. I don't want to settle and I am starting to buckle under the stress. I just don't know how to do what I need to do without crushing someone. How do you push someone away when they have nothing and no where to go? I can't do that, even if it means more stress and pain for me.

Monday, February 25, 2008

We had a fight and I'm covered in bruises...

The two are completely unrelated!

We had our first official fight. It started yesterday at lunch and continued into the wee hours of the morning. As of this morning, we have it mostly resolved. Mostly. I still have a few things that I need to discuss and I have a feeling he wants to just forget that it ever happened. But I am a person who needs to have resolution and understanding. I hope he can deal with that. We both avoid conflict at all costs but I know that is not good for me, him or us.

I hope he is willing to be a partner in this relationship because right now I feel like I am alone. I feel like he is looking out for himself and barely regarding our relationship (let alone looking out for me and my well being).


As for the bruises, Mr. P LOVES fish. In addition to bringing 2 cats with him, he also came with a 5-gallon fish tank, a 10-gallon fish tank, a 20-gallon fish tank and a 55-gallon fish tank (there is also a 2-gallon tank being kept in the closet at the moment). I used to have a fish tank of my own, but decided it was way too much work and got rid of it before I moved into this smaller apartment (less than 800 sq. ft). Needless to say, we have fish coming out our ears!

Mr. P has a beautiful fish in the 55-gallon tank, it is just too aggressive for some of the other fish and needs a new home. We decided that we would set up a 55-gallon tank in my office, then manga, the 2 barbs and orangie will have a new home. It was my job to wash the gravel for the new tank... all 75 pounds of it. I spent most of yesterday afternoon on my knees in front of the shower. I had a big bucket filled with 25 pounds of gravel and water. The cleaning process was like kneading bread dough... except with rocks, and on your knees, covered in cold water. Today, my forearms have huge swollen, bruised spots where I was leaning on the tub for leverage. (Also the same EXACT part of the arm that rests on your desk when you type...) I got about 35 pounds cleaned... and I think that is all that I have in me. Poor fish, they better hope Mr. P is willing to clean the rest.

This is a big week, its going to be my nephew's 3rd birthday this weekend! I get to have my own little party with him tonight and I'm in charge of the birthday cake! I think I will make him one in the shape of a hammer or wrench, he is ALL about tools right now.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

ch-ch-changes

I never imagined I could be so happy or feel so good. Mr. P moved in with me 3 weeks ago and I can't believe that I lived so long without him! I love having him here, I love being together. I feel much happier, more content and stable than I ever have.

We have been together for six months, I can't believe how much my life has changed in that time. I'm not sure what is instore for the future but I am excited to find out, no matter what it is.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Still Alive....II

Obviously I am taking a break from blogging. Not only are things crazy in my personal life, work has taken over every spare minute that I have.

Things are good, still dating Mr.P. Work is going through reorganization and restructuring of both companies. Since they are businesses that my father started and I'm now one of the managers, my involvement goes far deeper than if I had another job!

I've also been up and down with my health. Currently I'm dealing with gallstones and scheduling surgery to have my gallbladder removed.

Hopefully I will be back soon to start blogging again. I miss it and all the wonderful, funny people that I met. I've also not had time to keep up with my friends blogs and I hope to have time for that again soon!

PS- as far as the Tom saga goes... I'm still hearing from the idiot! But thankfully his psycho ex has stopped harrassing me. But it has been 2 weeks since he has last contacted me and I have high hopes that I will never hear from him again! HA! We will see!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Tom Update Part 1

I had to look back to see when the last update I did on Tom was. WOW. Have I got shit to tell you guys. I also realized that this is going to have to be in multiple posts because there is too much good stuff to try to cram it all in one post.

About a month ago I signed into my yahoo acct to check my email. It showed that I had an offline instant message waiting from Tom. The message was as follows:

:)

My reply consisted of : ????

When I got home that night I checked to see if he had responded. He had, and he was online waiting to talk to me. This started the strangest conversation of my life. We chatted back and forth. He asked if I missed him and what I missed most. I tried to get him to explain what the hell happened, why he just stopped talking to me and why on earth he was contacting me now. It was a very confusing conversation as he was avoiding my questions and telling me how the current/ex girlfriend (depending on who you ask) was the greatest thing in his life. That she was so good, kind, caring, loving sweet and WONDERFUL. During his explanation of how perfect this woman is, I was trying to get him to answer some questions but he would just ignore me. He started asking me what I missed the most about him and was NOT satisfied when I said that I missed just having him to talk to. He tried to get me to change my answer over and over. Just when I was starting to get pissed off, my cell phone rang.

Me: hello?
Caller: This is Jennifer
Me: Jennifer..........??
Caller: Tom's girlfriend... I wanted to tell you that it is not Tom you are talking to on the computer, it is me.

WOAH. Let's just pause here and admire the level of this woman's craziness.....

The phone call lasted well over 30 minutes (I know, I know... I wish I was better at being rude to people but I am one of those dumb asses that cant hang up on a telemarketer). Jennifer had demanded that Tom give her his password to his computer and he GAVE it to her. Very Nice.

Jennifer was wanting to get me to hate Tom (like I needed help with that) and like her (um.....NO). She said that Tom had done 'this' before, meaning finding women to talk to just to piss her off. She reassured me that she did things to piss him off too, but that deep down they were meant for each other. She said that she had contacted all of the women that he has done this with and was now good friends with all of them (um...... FUCK NO). This crazy, psychotic woman was wanting to be FRIENDS. I made it perfectly clear that I wanted nothing more to do with either of them. I told her that the last person that I had contact with in this relationship was HER when she was emailing me through myspace. She started getting pissy when I wasn't falling in to best friend mode with her.

So now thanks to Tom, little miss crazy pants has my phone number, email address as well as my home address. Which she made very clear at the end of the conversation, she would use to find me to beat me senseless if I ever had anything more to do with Tom. I finally ended the conversation by yelling FUCK OFF into the phone and then promptly chucking it across the room.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Update 3.12

Ok... dad was released from the hospital yesterday. Still on drugs and still in pain but getting better bit by bit.

I am doing better. This morning I got up to go to work and my car was dead. I had to get my mom to come over and give me a jump. By the time I got to work I was able to stay for 20 minutes before I was in tears. So doing MUCH better.

The redneck piece of crap, never want to think about it let alone blog about it saga is STILL going on.

To top it all off, I just had my first official fight with Mr. P. I am NOT a fighter. It was horrible. It was a combination of both our faults and a direct result of being in a long distance relationship.

I'm exhausted. I will post tomorrow... I swear.